Why do some people have it and some people don't?
Hello and welcome to The Healthy Coconut Blog. This blog is dedicated to bringing you information on trauma healing from a holistic perspective. I’m Gabbie Bodkin, a licensed mental health counselor, and the author of this blog. Today I’ll be sharing information covering discipline. As one of the most desired personality traits, why is it that some people have it and others do not? Today I'll uncover why this is from a neurological and psychological perspective.
More specifically this blog will review:
The neuropsychology of discipline- what's happening in the brain?
The "thinking traps" that interfere with being disciplined
How to increase the level of discipline you have in life
Most of us have experienced some form of goal setting during our lives and most of us have experienced successes and, let's say, non-successes. The saying "We're all human" applies to the natural challenges that arise with discipline.
Discipline often is viewed as a "punishment" for an unwanted behavior. However, discipline in the context of what I'm referring to is self-discipline which is "the quality of being able to behave and work in a controlled way which involves obeying particular rules or standards (Collins Dictionary)."
Neuropsychology of Discipline
To achieve discipline, we first have to understand what it is and I like to do this by painting a picture of what's happening in the brain when talking about self-discipline. The primary area of the brain responsible for discipline is the pre-frontal cortex, a large brain region located just behind the forehead. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for all higher-order thinking. Specifically, it's responsible for planning, reasoning, and judgment, as well as perceiving and assessing social behaviors, and impulse control. This brain region is the slowest and last area of the brain to develop, meaning that these functions aren't easily accessible until the late teen years into the early twenties. When the prefrontal cortex is functioning optimally, self-discipline is likely achievable. It is when the circuits in the prefrontal cortex are interrupted that discipline goes out the window.
One major contributor to low impulse control is low serotonin levels. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter and hormone (chemical messenger) that contributes to many brain and body functions including mood, heart rate, sleep, hunger, gastrointestinal homeostasis, and so much more. Low levels of serotonin can be associated with many brain health symptoms including anxiety and depression. When the prefrontal cortex is impaired due to low serotonin or other cognitive deficits, the brain region that takes over operations is the limbic system. The limbic system consists of the thalamus, hypothalamus, amygdala, and hippocampus. This system is responsible for habits, emotions, behaviors, and memory. It's also responsible for instinct and automatic processes such as heart rate and body temperature. So when this system is in charge of our behaviors, it relies more on habits and automatic responses versus thought-out behaviors.
The "thinking traps" that interfere with discipline
I want to touch on another culprit for the functioning of the prefrontal cortex to be interrupted. Often referred to as "thinking traps" or "cognitive distortions", they are patterns of thinking that result in limiting thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These cognitive distortions are the brain's way of "protecting" us from a possible negative outcome. The brain thinks that by presenting a small possibility of something negative or unwanted happening, it will emotionally prepare us or enact certain behavioral changes so the feared outcome doesn't happen.
However, instead of our brain being forewarned, so to speak, it adopts shortcuts to these patterns of thinking that, in turn, become automatic. One thinking trap for example is black and white thinking or all or nothing thinking. With this pattern of thinking we either believe something is all good or all bad and there are no grey areas. So in terms of self-discipline, this thinking trap would limit us if we made some progress towards a goal but then we arrived at the conclusion that some progress isn't the full goal and therefore it's worthless or we term ourselves as being a "failure." Please reference the picture of the cognitive distortions list so you can look through them and identify what ones apply to you. When you are aware of the thinking traps, it is easier to pull yourself out of the mindset and arrive at more advantageous thought patterns.
So let's say you developed a habit of eating large quantities of food when you are stressed. It took years and years of developing this habit and it was effective in reducing your anxiety so your brain released dopamine every time you ate in response to anxiety. That dopamine release reinforced everything from the eating behavior itself to the thoughts you had before eating in excess. One of the main thoughts contributing to anxiety may have been an overgeneralization thought such as "I'm never going to be able to get all this work done." The word "never" translated to you feeling defeated before you even started to tackle the workload. That feeling of defeat or fear tells the brain to release adrenaline and cortisol which are two of the biggest contributors to the shutdown of the prefrontal cortex. So now, the thinking part of your brain is turned off and the limbic system is in control. Your behaviors moving forward are now habitual and entirely based on quick rewards (i.e immediate gratification). Now instead of controlling the anxiety and the habit of overeating, your brain is likely going to choose what it knows best which is to continue the behavior. This is why self-discipline is so difficult. The good news is that you can re-train your brain.
Here are my top 5 tips to help develop self-discipline:
Start small to gain confidence that you "can" do this. Pick something that you know, without a doubt, that you could accomplish. For example, if your goal is to be able to run a 5k, don't expect yourself to just start running a mile. An achievable goal may look like just putting on sneakers and walking for 5 minutes, 1 time per week.
Understand the thinking traps and practice challenging them. To do this you find evidence against them as soon as you recognize the unhelpful thinking pattern. You can ask yourself this simple question- "Is this thought moving me toward my goal or away from my goal?"
Plan when you are not in a state of stress or temptation. If your goal is to cut out sugar and you go to the grocery store with no list and while the slightest bit hungry....you are most definitely walking out of that store with a sugary treat. Taking some time to plan how you will be disciplined and setting up rules for yourself outside of the state of stress or temptation is key. For example, I try to eat a healthy and balanced diet but I know I have a sweet tooth. I take time planning my grocery list and menu for the week with a healthy dessert option knowing I am going to crave something sweet. I also create rules for myself to follow. For example, one rule for sweets and unhealthy processed foods is "if it's in the house it will get eaten." If I don't buy it, I don't have to worry about self-discipline when it comes to dessert. In this example, I'm setting myself up for success by avoiding putting myself in a state of temptation.
Understand the element of discomfort. This alone can be the culprit for not starting or finishing a goal and being able to be self-disciplined. Discipline goes hand in hand with discomfort. If there isn't an element of discomfort then we aren't really in a state of discipline, we're in a state of enjoying. If you can identify an area you want to be disciplined in and understand the growing pains that come along with it, you're more likely to start and continue to persevere. When Olympic athletes are asked about their self-discipline and dedication to their sport and training, none of them report it being "easy." Most report the opposite. They say it takes hard work, dedication, mental and physical strength, and so much more to continue to devote themselves to their sport and train every single day. We aren't all trying to be Olympic athletes but even on a small scale, discipline has discomfort. The reason for that discomfort is that the joy and accomplishment that comes out of being disciplined make it all worth it. Some examples could be passing that test, finishing a half marathon, getting that healthy blood work report back, paying off debt, hiking to the summit, running after your kids without pain, etc.
Soak up the natural- unmeasured rewards. Most goals that require self-discipline are external- meaning they can be measured and visible in some form or another. If your goal is to lose weight to become "healthier", a scale would be a way to measure that goal. However, the scale isn't going to show the progress between the weeks and months of work. What will show progress is you telling yourself "I moved my body today and that's a win." Or "I ate whole foods today and that's a win." The scale isn't going to report back that you took care of yourself in 24 hours. It's not going to tell you that your gut microbiome is changing for the better or that your mood is improved because you ate serotonin-promoting foods. So, with any goal you are looking to achieve, start off the planning by listing all of the unseen and unmeasured intrinsic rewards. Those will all be your reasons "why" to keep going every day.
Thank you all for reading this post. As always, I hope you found this information helpful. This information is purely intended to inform, not to treat. If you are struggling with brain health issues or childhood trauma, speaking to a healthcare professional is recommended to receive a specific plan for treatment and healing based on your individual needs. You can follow along for more posts and psychoeducational tools on trauma healing from a holistic perspective. You can also check out my website, thehealthycoconut.com, or Instagram the_healthycoconut for more resources or to book a free consultation with me. If you found this blog helpful, please like and subscribe to support these resources.
Safety Disclaimer:
If you find any of this information triggering or do not feel safe being alone with your thoughts, call a support person or 911 if you feel you are at risk of hurting yourself or others. I’m a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, and I help adults and teens heal from childhood trauma. Follow along for more self-help tools and psychoeducation on trauma and trauma healing.
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