In my most recent blog post, I reviewed the common symptoms of trauma including the physical, cognitive, psychological, and behavioral symptoms. Since there are so many symptoms that you may experience after trauma, there is no one coping skill that fits all symptoms. In this blog post, I'll define coping skills, provide tips on how to identify the ones that work for you, and discuss ways to scale distress and manage symptoms.
So what are coping skills?
Coping skills are essentially the "bandaids" to brain health struggles. They are the strategies you can use to help manage the symptoms of trauma. They can include anything that makes you feel better such as listening to music, going for a walk, or calling a friend. They do NOT include things that may make you feel good in the moment but have adverse effects at the same time. These would be what we call "unhealthy coping skills," such as drinking alcohol, excessive or restricted eating, impulsive spending, restricted sleep, etc. Unhealthy coping skills may provide that quick fix in the initial moment, however, they simultaneously are doing more harm than good and can exacerbate the symptoms.
Coping skills alone don't heal the wound completely, yet they provide relief and protection from further damage. Just like a bandaid provides protection and may provide pain relief, sterilizing the wound and cleaning it out is crucial for it to heal completely. Processing through our distress and digging deeper into the reason we were distressed in the first place would constitute more of that healing process. Other benefits of coping skills are that they can often turn into self-care practices that aid in the neurological healing process.
How do I know what coping skills work for me?
In order to identify the coping skills that are most effective for you, it's important to do some self-identity research first. Here are some suggested steps to find out what works for you.
Identify what coping skills would be the most appealing to you (there is a general list at the bottom of this post if you need some ideas).
Out of the ones you select, ask yourself if you've ever initiated these coping skills before. If you haven't, then chances are they are not going to be realistic. It's best to start with coping skills you've tried before and ones that have resulted in some relief.
Once you identify a coping skill, ask yourself if your coping skill is attainable. For example, if you identify baking as your coping skill and you do not have access to a kitchen when you need to apply your coping skill, baking wouldn't be the easiest or most realistic option.
It's best practice to have a few go-to coping skills that you could use in different environments. For example, you can use a coping skill that involves just yourself, one that involves a tangible object like a phone for music, and one that may require more effort such as baking or going to the gym.
Coping skills that can be done just with your mind and body include things like breathing practices, grounding, guided imagery, mindfulness, muscle relaxation, etc. Coping skills that include tangible objects may include drawing, reading a book, or listening to a podcast or music. The coping skills that require more effort typically include multiple steps such as going to the gym. You have to get dressed, drive or walk to the gym, work out, then drive or walk home. If you identify only multi-step coping skills you're not likely to complete them. This is because when we are in distress, we often are not in a motivated state so we have to think of things that are easy.
Once you've decided on a handful of coping skills, it's important to define the severity of the symptoms that you need to cope with. In the counseling world, we typically use a scale called the Subjective Units of Distress Scale (SUDS). The scale goes from 0 to 10, where 0 indicates no symptoms at all and 10 indicates the highest distress you've ever felt. The coping skills discussed in this post are NOT for symptoms at a level 10, nor would I recommend using them for anything above a 7. If we're experiencing symptoms on the higher end of the scale, professional support and not being alone is the safest response to ensure emotional and physical safety. When looking at the next two diagrams, attempt to match a coping skill to each of the different levels of distress. For example, listening to music may help if you're at a level 4 and may not help if you're at a level 6 or 7. A level 6 or 7 may mean calling a friend or person of support to talk to.
Earlier I mentioned how coping skills can turn into self-care practices. The difference between the two is that with self-care, you are engaging in the practice regardless of your distress. They are more routine and you may often engage in them when you have no distress at all. They typically serve as more maintenance and stabilization for an overall healthy brain.
Below you will find a general list of some ideas of what coping skills may work for you. There are endless amounts of healthy coping skills out there because we are all different with unique brains and unique interests.
If you're reading this post and are self-examining your use of coping skills and realize you engage in negative coping skills, that's OKAY. You are not alone and there are many reasons why unhealthy coping skills are desirable. The brain makes so many neurological connections once it's introduced to anything that provides a release of dopamine (the pleasure hormone). If something provides relief at the moment you need it, dopamine surges into your bloodstream and your brain quickly begins to crave it. Each time that happens, the neurological pathway between that unhealthy coping skill and pleasure is reinforced making it more and more difficult to obtain any healthy coping skill.
So, if this is the case for you, you can simply start by swapping out or adding in one healthy coping skill. For example, if you typically drink 5 sodas when you're stressed, you could start with 4 sodas and one flavored sparkling water. If your unhealthy coping skill is at a point where you or your support system has noted concern, you could try talking to a therapist or counselor who could work with you on healthy alternatives when you're ready. You can always back out of counseling if you don't benefit from the experience or don't have a good match with a quality therapist (just like with any profession, there are some great counselors there and some not-so-great ones). You can reference my previous blog post on "how do I know if therapy is right for me?" for more information on beginning a therapeutic process.
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