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Writer's pictureGabbie Bodkin

HOW DO I KNOW IF THERAPY IS RIGHT FOR ME?

Updated: Apr 12, 2023

In today's blog I'll be answering frequently asked questions regarding mental health and the

counseling process. Please leave a comment if you have more questions.



How do I know if therapy is right for me?

In short, therapy is a beneficial tool to increase your level of functioning and it can provide clarity and insight to the struggles that may be weighing you down. Typically, many people go to therapy as a last resort rather than a preventative or proactive step in maintaining a stable and healthy mental lifestyle.


Society is finally shifting gears and understanding that a healthy and balanced lifestyle doesn't just stop at physical health. There is a push for more yoga, more time for ourselves, more mind apps and mental health quotes being posted on peoples social media. This movement didn't just start because of a trend. It started because of all the new research that has studied how imperative mental health is in everything that we do.


So, I know I am biased when saying that I think anyone can benefit from therapy but I also know that there is plenty of research out there to support the need for some form of therapy or mental health practice (see references at end of page for articles). I believe that if you have the motivation and desire to put some effort in, therapy can be a great success!


Now, there are caveats to this. If you have the mentality that you want to walk into a therapists office and have him or her “fix” all your problems so you can leave and have a weight lifted off your shoulders, therapy may not be the best fit if you are at this stage of thinking.


It’s important to assess how motivated you are to work towards your mental health goals. It also is important that you can be honest with yourself and the counselor about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in order to gain the most out of the experience.

This leads me to the next frequently asked question…

 

What if I don’t like my counselor or can’t connect with him/her?

This is a common fear among many people who are contemplating going to therapy. My response is that you don’t ever have to stick with a counselor if you don’t feel connected and safe entrusting him or her with your personal information.


The counseling relationship should feel comfortable, safe, and you should leave each session feeling free from judgement. If you do not feel a connection after the first few sessions with a counselor, it is best to be open about your discomfort and let the counselor know. Through that disclosure your counselor is then in a position to give you options on possibly other referrals in your area or discuss with you your thoughts on what would enhance your comfort/the counseling relationship.


You never have to feel like you are stuck with one counselor and shouldn’t feel obligated or forced to stay in therapy if the counselor is not a good match for you.


You may now be asking yourself, “How can I find out if the counselor is a good match before starting the process? That is a great question. Another common question along those lines is:


 

Where can I go to find a therapist?

There are many google searches that can lead you to therapist websites in your area and here are some examples:

- Therapists in (Name of your town) that treat (mental health related symptoms).

- Inpatient treatment centers in (Name of your town)

- Outpatient treatment centers in (name of your town) that treat (mental health related symptom).

- Therapists that take (name of your insurance).

Many of these searches will lead you to private practices, agencies, centers, etc. that offer mental health services. Then you’ll have to do some research on their websites to find out more information.

I recommend using the Psychology Today website (https://www.psychologytoday.com) to find therapists because they have a ton of useful information on their pages. All of the therapists listed on psychology today have an “about me” section where they voice their approach to therapy and talk about their outlooks on mental health. This brief background can help when aiming to select a counselor that would be the best fit for you. They also identify the disorders and populations they typically work with. For Example:

“Specializes in:

-Child therapy (ages 4-18)

-Trauma

-Anxiety

-PTSD

-Attachment

-Depression

-Eating Disorders”

I always recommend sending an email or calling to get any further questions answered. Typically, the first appointment will just be to get to know each other and they will need background information to help gather as much information to make a treatment plan that best fits your needs. Most clients can get a feel from that first session if it’s going to be a good fit.


 

Where can I go to find a support group?

This requires another online search in order to specify your area and the type of support group you’re looking for (i.e. "support groups in (city or town) for substance abuse"). There are support groups for everything and if you can’t find one that meets face to face, there are online forums as well.


One thing to remember if using an online forum is that they are not monitored so if someone shares something that is triggering to you in anyway, you run the risk of being alone to process that information on your own.


I recommend only using an online forum if you have identified and become proficient in turning to coping skills when in distress and have a plan of action if you are triggered or affected by something you hear or read online.


 

What self help resources are there?

There are plenty of self help resources including books, podcasts, magazines, and online forums such as this blog.


The first step is identifying what method is easiest and most natural for you. If you hate reading and think that you want to go buy a bunch of books to work through your struggles, you may be left disappointed when you don’t have enough motivation to be consistent with the reading and work through the books. So in that case, for example, possibly podcasts or easy to read vlogs/blogs may be more suitable.


Simply go to your online search engine and type in, “Self help (books, podcasts, magazines) on (mental health related issue).

An example would be “Self-help books on how to treat anxiety.”


 

When is it time to get professional help?

Anytime is a good time to get professional help. It is never too early or too late to turn to professionals. You will either be helping to manage symptoms and prevent possible future issues by going to a healthcare provider or you will be gaining assistance to pick yourself up from rock bottom. Whichever the reason, professional help is never a bad idea.


Some questions to ask yourself include:

"Am I struggling with daily life?"

"Does it feel like each day is a chore?"

"Am I struggling to find anything positive in my life?"

"Do I feel hopeless?"

"Have I lost sight of who I am?"

"Do I feel lost?"

"Have I tried everything to get better and nothing is working?"

"Am I physically ill?"


 

What are some tactics for feeling more comfortable talking about my mental health related issues when I know there is a stigma and judgement?

Many people struggle with opening up about their mental health struggles. Years ago the stigma was far worse than it is today but many people still don’t know how to react when people share information regarding their mental health. The first step in getting comfortable talking about your mental health is to look at your own stigmas and assess what it is that makes you feel insecure. When you meet with a licensed mental health professional, you’re meeting with someone who most likely has an immense amount of compassion and empathy. These professionals are typically in the field because they are passionate about helping others and have gained the training and years of education and clinical experience to do so. If you have reservations about opening up about your struggles, you can share that with your therapist. I often get this type of disclosure from clients. They will say, “i don’t really believe in therapy or that you can help me.” or “I am not ready to open up about what’s really going on.” These types of statements are perfectly acceptable and actually makes me as a therapist understand that this client is transparent and honest which is beyond helpful in obtaining results. These thoughts and fears typically don’t last long but when they are present, it’s the therapists job to respect and work with those fears rather than quickily discredit or force a client to feel comfortable- that’s actually unethical. So at the end of the day, just be yourself and if you feel comfortable to share your reservations or slowly open up, hopefully the therapist you choose to meet with allows you to feel safe and comfortable no matter what you share or how you present.


 

References


Clark, D. M., Canvin, L., Green, J., Layard, R., Pilling, S., & Janecka, M. (2018). Transparency about the outcomes of mental health services (IAPT approach): an analysis of public data. The Lancet, 391(10121), 679-686.


Clark, D. M. (2018). Realizing the mass public benefit of evidence-based psychological therapies: the IAPT program. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 14.





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